A ‘NO’ is the Doorway to Growth

LIFESTYLE | MINDFULNESS

Think about the last time you really wanted something, whether it was a job or someone’s love, and you got a NO for an answer. Try to remember the exact moment that door was closed to you. The sadness, self-doubt, and heartbreak it brought you. For a while you were clueless. You had placed so much on this opportunity, that now that it is gone you feel like you are incomplete, unworthy, or that you must have made a huge mistake somewhere along the way. Truth is having an opportunity turn to nothing in front of our eyes is very painful. But what we miss to see in the moment is that rejection is the perfect opportunity to grow.

Growing means becoming our truer self. To become it we need to realize what we are really capable of, what things really matter to us, and we need to understand that all we need to be happy and full of joy is within us and does not depend on anything or anyone else. So, when we get rejected we get to see what we are really made of. Imagine getting every opportunity you ever wanted, where would the challenge be? How big would your ego get?

Let’s put the example of heartbreak, something I went through not long ago. It left me to pieces. The person I had imagined having a life with, with whom I had spent years and years together, had suddenly disappeared off my life. Oh, the number of times I doubted blamed and hated myself. But, slowly, very slowly, I started to build myself back up again. I started to do things on my own, things I would never do without him. Realizing that I was fine, that I could do it on my own, changed everything for me. It made me realize what I was capable of. And it is that feeling that leads to growing as a person. Another example, for those of you lucky ones that haven’t gotten your heartbroken, is to think about muscles. Only through loading them up and putting them under pressure they become stronger.

Of course, growth is not linear and is not like everything I did by myself made me feel great. It was a whole process. Think of growth as a line that is going up but has some ups and downs in it. The great news about it is that your following down will still be higher than your previous one, and your highs will be higher and higher, and slowly like that you’ll be closer to that true self of yours.

Being able to take responsibility for your emotions and actions, but also realizing that the world can be against you and you will still stand tall is a feeling like no other. So, whenever you get a NO for an answer, smile and say thank you because you know you will become stronger, better and happier.

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Andréanne @yoga.andreanne